Lovesong by The Cure: just dig that knife while it's in me. Talk about heartbreak. It's like getting comfortable and surrounding yourself with the ultimate love just to know that you'll eventually leave each other's side for an indefinite amount of time. Love like it's your last...?
One Headlight by The Wallflowers: about a guy who lost a girl (depressed? or just searching for answers?). Song is close to my heart for another reason and I'm almost happy that it wasn't that much of a popular song so that others could taint it.
Under the Bridge by Red Hot Chili Peppers: oh, Anthony Kiedis and other addicts, how I wish I could scoop you up and nurse you back to health. This song just oozes pain and sorrow. I love the guitar riffs and strokes. Loneliness sucks and this is just one of those songs that makes my heart hurt. Almost makes me feel like a beauty contestant wishing for world peace.
Sober by Pink: I'm CONVINCED that she was a fly on my wall when she wrote this song. The video and song could have been snapshots of my life. I felt like this before I actually heard this song. The second I heard it I thought to myself that it was a sign. WARNING!!! Brutal honesty ahead... I feel like I make myself be the party girl just because it's what everyone expects and enjoys. People (family included) make comments when I wouldn't drink that I was boring and bringing them down. They'd always ask me if something was the matter with me. I know that I was/am much more of a clown and social butterfly when I drink, but my problem is that I didn't stop when I should have.
My drug of choice is/was alcohol. I say was because I'm now carrying another life inside me, but I know once this kid is out I'm going to be back to battling that everyday, every hour, every minute. I'm not going to lecture anyone or come across that drinking is bad. I'm just saying that for ME, drinking is bad because I cannot take my foot off the alcohol pedal. There are no brakes on this crazy train. I'm the type of person that is either idling or at full throttle. And although I like to be a clown, I do NOT like being the one everyone makes fun of the next day, next week, next month, next year, next holiday, next vacation. All this time I've just grinned and beared it because I did those things with an audience. Not that I'm proud of those things, but I pretend to be to ease the humiliation.
The REAL test is going to be headed my way in several months. I'm sure by staying away from the social scene I'll leave my legacy behind for a new party girl to carry the torch.
Red hot chili peppers are one of my favourite bands.
ReplyDeleteI'd Love to go see them, would definately be something you'd remember
Red Hot Chili Peppers are touring this year. They have a show in the San Francisco Bay Area next month. I'm hoping to get tickets.
DeleteHang in there.
ReplyDeleteHello Mary Ellen,
DeleteMy son is now 2, and I am not the crazy party girl. As soon as he was born, I went back to work within a week and have been pretty balanced. It gets boring at times, but I know it's the right thing for my kids, my homelife and me.