Wednesday, December 17, 2014

Hello, my name is Virginia and I'm a Workaholic

Seriously. How can a person want to immerse themselves in work so much? I know it stems from growing up believing a good work ethic is a key to success. And I admit that I also do it to run away from troubles or stress in my personal life. It's my perfect little drug. Work = money = recognition = ... what? What am I looking for? Success? Respect? Admiration? An escape from thinking I suck ass at making decisions for the personal relationships I choose? The life choices I've made? Knowing I'm going to continue making shitty decisions in my future? Seriously. What gives? LOL!

It's an addiction. I know it's an addiction, and don't try to convince me otherwise. LOL! I guess it's more of an acceptable addiction. But if you were to ask my kids or my family I know damn well they would tell you they hate it. They've suffered. There are too many family get-togethers, holidays and day trips I've skipped or cancelled for work.

And yet, here I am. Chosing to do more work, even though it is well past traditional business hours. And I will probably continue working past 10 pm today. There will be something I think of, or a call or email I will take before I "shut it down" for the night.

It's such a beautiful night. I just put up the Christmas tree with my 5 yr old and my older son. He stopped by in between jobs to help me put it up and decorate it. I have the front blinds open and I can see the neighbor's twinkling lights from here. I'm listening to Alicia Key's sing her Unplugged version of "If I Ain't Got You." And the soft sound of light rain completes the scene. The moment. And yet, all I can think of is how I need to start working on that pile of marketing to my left.