You Better Werk, Werk it Gurl

Once upon a time, I was really involved in the real estate community and its organizations, and then I got super busy with work and my career that I stressed myself out, started binge drinking and getting angry at my then boyfriend, went to counseling for anger management and drinking, and finally became a semi-hermit for 5 years. The traveling for work and pleasure was great, but the constant socializing/networking kept me away from my kids and family. In 2004, I was the local chapter President for this women's real estate organization. Once my term was over, the slow unraveling of my career and life began.

Within a span of 6 months, I had one of the biggest break-ups of my then relationship, I purchased my first home, I FINALLY made a 6-figure income (a goal I cannot remember even setting-but I reached it and I was proud of myself), vacationed in Cancun and accomplished another life-goal of climbing the Mayan ruins of Chi Chen Itza (with then boyfriend who was texting and calling one of 3 girls he was seeing), and ending with my brother committing suicide on his 35th birthday.

Phew! No wonder I turned into a spazmatic hermit. I swore to never put my career before my family again and "turned to God" while in counseling.

Flash-forward to about a year or two ago when I began to attend weekly real estate marketing meetings and renew my membership with the real estate organization I once flourished in. The first several meetings, I would sit in the seat closest to the back door at any event/venue; I would keep my eyes cast downward, and avoid any "networking". Keep in mind that in 2007/2008 MANY folks in real estate had to abandon that career path for a REAL job, so most of these fresh faces had no idea who I was and I was so relieved for that.

Then came the questions about where I had been, what had I been up to, all questions I so badly wanted to avoid, and HAD avoided for 5 years. I still had a hard time talking about my brother and the downward spiral my life had taken. Do I lie and say everything is fine? Everything is perfect? I was just "taking some time off with my family"? Damn. Some of them had an idea, but I didn't really feel like discussing what a shit-hole my life had been and how I was finally digging myself out of in front of 50 other real estate people.

Needless to say, I just smiled and said life was good and I was ready to start getting back out there. A few of them pried and prodded, and I felt obligated to give them a quick rundown, much to my displeasure. It took almost a year for me to stop doubting myself and my knowledge/experience. I became more social and made new friends, though I don't care to be center-stage any longer. It wasn't attention that I needed, it was validation from an industry that was mostly older, white people; and there I was, a 18/19 year-old, Hispanic teen-mother trying to get her feet wet in real estate. I had finally acheived that in my mid/late 20s and I felt like I threw it all away, only to start over in my 30s.

I broke out of my cocoon at the end of 2010 by modeling for that women's organization, that almost 10 years before I had helped charter.

(That's me on the right, planting a smooch on a colleague.)